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About Other / Professional Premium Member Ryan SmithMale/United Kingdom Groups :iconthe-melting-pot: The-Melting-Pot
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Deviant for 6 Years
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Why do you guys love my demotivational posters so much? :P 

2 deviants said "I like your sense of humor"
2 deviants said (This option is saved for the poll maker since he doesn't know how to access poll results without voting first)
1 deviant said "They have my favorite characters"
1 deviant said "They have funny faces with funny quotes"
No deviants said "Because I'm bored"
No deviants said Other *please comment*


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I haven't posted a journal entry in a long time, and I have a lot to say.

2014 has been a hard year to weather as I go through my early 20's. I feel more sadness than I've ever felt in all my previous years, even when I was depressed and anxious. I've started and prematurely ended a lot of projects and games that I thought would be the best thing in the world. I've made and lost a lot of friends in the process and I'm starting to feel a sense of grief over my sense of chronic underachievement and failure.

I'm really starting to doubt my own judgement. I've made a lot of mistakes and I'm not through making them yet. I've studied self-improvement for 4 years now to find out how to put what I've learned in life to good use, but now I'm finding it hard to use it as more than an escapism from the reality that I'm lost in life and disillusioned with the things I used to enjoy doing.

I've tried so hard to keep myself from falling into total despair, but every night, I feel like I've hit rock bottom. I've often cried during the night because I feel like I have no chance of becoming somebody.

Overall, I feel like I'm wasting my youth as the years ago by. I recently retired from my short career in sound design because I was not getting the pleasure and satisfaction I originally sought when I got into it.

The only skill I still have that I can use to make something worth it's value is writing, everything else is at a beginner level.

My entire world is collapsing on me and I'm out of answers, out of ideas, and as far as my reality is concerned, out of luck.

If there's one thing I've learned in these 4 harsh years, it is this:

"He who relies on luck, seldom has any."
  • Mood: Lonely
  • Listening to: Serenity - an old midi song


malfunit's Profile Picture
Ryan Smith
Artist | Professional | Other
United Kingdom
Hello and welcome!

I'm Ryan Smith. I run a variety of online projects, ranging from games to fiction works to sound design to freelancing.

You can see what I'm currently up to by heading over to my Patreon page, found in the Website box.

Patreon is like an online "tip cup" which people can use to support their favorite artists, writers, and content makers. You can even set your own page up if you have an idea and the determination to bring it about. :)


Pokemon: Twin Souls update - We've decided on a name for the girl. Mara Sessie. :)
Thu Jan 30, 2014, 1:25 PM





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Unreal-Forever Featured By Owner 1 day ago  Hobbyist Digital Artist
:+devwatch: you too my friend.
A-Pancake Featured By Owner 4 days ago
Thank you very much for the watch! :D
SonaleeTheHedgehog23 Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2014  New member Hobbyist General Artist
Your art is hilarious! I love it. I'm gonna watch you.
yip9 Featured By Owner Jun 24, 2014
You sound like a really thoughtful guy. Let's be friends, if you like.
hikariangelove Featured By Owner Mar 2, 2014
Ok for your note :)
malfunit Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014  Professional Artist
Okay, it's been sent!
hikariangelove Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2014
Ok Now I add you
pokefre Featured By Owner Feb 23, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
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